How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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