I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
