I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
The feeling are messing with the penis
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Congratulations! We have a period
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
