thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We talked him into tasing himself.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
