im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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