But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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