There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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