girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
