So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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