He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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