well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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