Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
