how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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