Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
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