It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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