i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
