I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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