I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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