Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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