I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
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