So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
