My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
