he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
