Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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