i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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