where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i will never coherently bang her
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
