First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize