So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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