Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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