Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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