Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
