Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
