I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
