butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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