Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
