it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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