guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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