I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
