omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Randomize
