naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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