im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
