May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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