there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize