I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize