she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
