What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
