I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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