i already hear my dad disowning me
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
