well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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