In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
