Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
