Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
not ubering you a puppy
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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