he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
They are going to name an STD after you.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
