just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
