she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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