Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
