did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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