I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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