Joe is yelling at the trees again.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
