why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
